Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
