At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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