Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
