honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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