Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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