Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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