quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize