dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
