shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
