She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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