he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
