Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize