he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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