I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
