Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
