wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
The feeling are messing with the penis
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
