i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
