scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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