I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
