This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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