he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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