He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I DEMAND FORESKIN
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
