okay pat passed out under dana's car
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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