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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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