SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
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