I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
