But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
