Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
