I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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