it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
