Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
it's like iHOP with fire
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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