They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
