During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize