I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
