He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I deserve this hangover.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize