Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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