Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
