It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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