I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
