We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
