I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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