I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Come on in and take your pants off
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