I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
