i would punch a child for taco bell
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
