I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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