i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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