doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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