and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
