oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
