Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
