my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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