the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
