Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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