in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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