I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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