her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize