I cockslap morals
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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