you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
