remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
your like the ambassador to my penis.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
