So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
