do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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