How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
