Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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