You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
