it's like iHOP with fire
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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