Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
That accounts for only three of the penises
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
