apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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