your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Can Purell be used as lube?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
